Old people

I always wondered why old people are so slow. It's like they don't care if they ever get to where they're going. I can understand that they aren't as mobile and walk slower but when they're driving there's no reason not to go at a normal pace. I always thought that they didn't have much time left so they'd probably be rushing to do everything before they croak. It didn't make any sense... but I've figured it out.

When you're a kid summer seemed like it lasted forever but now, even for me in my early 20's, that shit passes in no time and next thing you know your ass just got pounced by flannel shirts and one-size-fits-all cotton gloves. The older you are the quicker time passes simply because how a defined period relates to your overall age.

Think of it this way... If you're 10 then a year is 10% of your life. When you're 70 then a year is roughly 1.4% of your life. Therefore these old people pottering around in their Lincolns with the left turn signal on are in their minds just flying down the road. If you don't watch out you're gonna get fucking flattened by a geriatric speed demon doing 30 in a 50 zone.

I still have yet to figure out why every car with a veteran's plate on it is the most dangerous thing on the road.